Adults | 3C Family Services

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LIFE STAGES

Early Adulthood

Early adulthood is an extremely diverse period of life. It encompasses a wide range of lifestyle choices and responsibilities. Some people launch directly into adulthood at the legal age of 18, while others take a much more prolonged course. Our industrialized culture has created the opportunity for many young people to have a longer period of transition from adolescence to adulthood, sometimes termed “emerging adulthood,” that can last into the mid 30s.

There is so much variability in this period of life that it is too vast to discuss it all here, but there are certain common areas of growth and development that occur in young adulthood. Young adults arguably do more choosing and changing than any other period of life. As the young adult progresses, he or she struggles with questions about occupation, family, living situation, lifestyle, values, and cultural and political ties.

Occupation One marker of adulthood is the attainment of economic independence from parents, which for some may be much later in life due to prolonged exploration of education and interests. Developing a career is an important task that requires the skills of learning to cope with work demands, getting along with co-workers, responding to authority, and advocating for needs and goals. When one is successful in their work environment, they feel a sense of personal accomplishment, increased social connections, and financial independence. Social Support Young adults often move geographically for educational or occupational opportunities, which can cause people to leave their social support network. Finding new friends and a sense of belonging to the community can be a difficult task, but one that creates a better sense of well-being. Many people develop a sense of social connection through their workplace or by joining organizations, clubs, a church or other place of worship, or by getting involved in sports or other activities of interest. Identity, Values, and Personal Responsibility One’s own personal identity continues to develop after adolescence, and most people cultivate a sense of purpose in the world, confidence in their own abilities, determination and persistence in the face of obstacles, and personal responsibility for their actions. Many young adults develop a sense of acceptance of their own strengths and weaknesses as well as a generally positive self-esteem. Intimate Relationships Forming a warm and stable romantic relationship is important to most people, but it can be hard to balance the pull for independence and freedom with the desire to have an intimate partner. Some people choose to remain single to pursue other goals, or they stay single due to inadvertent circumstances. Many people marry or live with a partner, which can create both joy and stress as people learn to express their needs and concerns, listen to those of their partner, and cultivate a willingness to compromise. Good conflict resolution skills are beneficial and promote stable relationships. Children Having children is another choice many people make during young adulthood. This can be a wonderfully rewarding and stressful at the same time, as one works to balance work and other relationships with caring for a child. Parenting is another challenge that is ripe with opportunity for stress as well as happiness.

Change is always stressful, whether it is a good thing (like marriage or having a child) or a bad thing (like the loss of a relationship or a loved one). So, in a period of life that is full of change, there are many opportunities for challenges and stress. Searching for a career in a difficult job market can make people feel less effective and hopeless if they are denied employment. Financial strain can increase stress and anxiety and make living circumstances difficult. Lack of success in finding a romantic partner can leave people feeling lonely, rejected, and excluded. Unmet expectations of a career or a marriage can leave people disappointed and depressed. The challenge of raising children and balancing work and home life can create difficulty. Moving to a new place without a social network can make people feel isolated. The onset of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and other mental health issues commonly begin in this age group. The stressors of this time period can worsen pre-existing conditions as well. Common reasons for seeking treatment: Difficulty coping with emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety Alcohol and drug abuse Academic or employment difficulties Family discord Parenting issues Marital issues Difficulty in finding a romantic partner Grief over a loss Financial stress Spiritual issues Lack of social connection, difficulty in community or friend relationships

Treatment can help you learn more about the problems and help find ways to cope and work through the issue to increase success. 3-C is a safe place where a professional will listen nonjudgmentally and help guide you to better insight and confidence. We have a broad range of specialists who can help, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and licensed therapists. There are no set criteria for seeking help. No problem is too big or too small. If there is something bothering you, talking about it with an expert can help. We offer the following services for adults: Individual therapy Medication evaluation and management Group therapy Marital/relationship therapy Psychological assessments for adults Neuropsychological assessment for adults

College Years

College is an exciting time where new experiences and challenges await. The transition to college is one of the biggest life adjustments that will start the journey out of adolescence and into adulthood. This transition goes smoothly for some, but for others there is more difficulty. Parents and high school graduates often feel both the pride of accomplishment as well as the anxiety about the unknown. Who will be my roommate? What classes should I choose? Will I make any friends? What if it’s too hard? How will I manage without my parents? What will it be like to be on my own?

Fitting In One of the biggest tasks to accomplish at first is finding where you fit in. You might be leaving a high school social situation that was wonderful and you may worry that you won’t find something as great; or you may be glad about the social situation you are leaving and hope that there is a better niche for you in college. Regardless of where you are coming from, finding your place in a peer group at college is part of the fun and challenge of this new part of life. Developing a social network and learning how to negotiate new relationships with peers, in dating, and with teachers and authority figures is a big part of the maturing process of college. Managing Academics Another big challenge of college is learning how to manage your time and cope with the academic demands of your university. You may be coming from a home where your parents reminded you of assignments and kept you on track, or you may already know how to keep up with your to-do list. In contrast to high school, college has much more unstructured time that can make it easier or harder to keep yourself motivated. Learning how to be successful in your academic life, working with your own strengths and weaknesses, and gaining confidence in your abilities are all part of maturing in the college setting. Emotional Stress Dealing with stress away from home is another challenge that college students must learn to face. Stress in college is something that everyone faces, whether it’s stress over a test, a paper, a relationship, or a family situation. Emotional awareness is a skill that can be difficult to learn. The first step is to recognize when you are feeling a negative emotion (whether that is anger, sadness, or anxiety) and then learn to express it in an effective way that ultimately is helpful to you. Learning what you need and how to get it is a life-long task. Independence Becoming independent of your parents is the ultimate goal of adulthood, but this can be a prolonged process in college. Most students are still tied to their parents financially to some degree, whether that is a car, tuition, or a home for the summer. The process of being on your own physically at college, but still needing your parents for support can feel frustrating. Parents can also have difficulty when they are the ones paying the bills but feel they do not have a say in what their college student is doing. This can cause family conflict that can be difficult with which to cope. Conclusion Dealing with other temptations in a less restrictive environment than home is also something that college students deal with. Examples are alcohol use, other substance use, sexual desires, and other peer pressures. Women often can fall into difficulty with comparing themselves to others and have self-esteem or body issues that can lead to disordered eating. Ultimately, college is a place where young adults can explore ideas, experience new adventures, continue self-exploration, develop life choices, focus their goals, discover a purpose, and find a path to continue learning in the world.

Although some students are able to make the transition to college without significant difficulty, others can find the change to be overwhelming. This can be due to a prior difficulty, such as ADHD, that is exacerbated by the demands and unstructured setting of college; or it can be the new onset of problems such as homesickness, difficulty adjusting, relationship problems, depression, or anxiety. Common reasons for seeking treatment: Adjustment issues Difficulty coping with emotions such as anxiety, depression, anger Relationship difficulties with peers, in dating, or with family Academic problems such as lack of motivation, anxiety, attention problems Problems with self-esteem, confidence, or assertiveness Disordered eating Use of alcohol or other substances Sleeping problems Dealing with other stressful situations, such as financial or legal difficulties Sexual identity issues Grief from a loss

Treatment can help you learn more about the problems and help find ways to cope and work through the issue to increase success. 3-C is a safe place where a professional will listen nonjudgmentally and help guide you to better insight and confidence. We have a broad range of specialists who can help, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and licensed therapists. There are no set criteria for seeking help. No problem is too big or too small. If there is something bothering you, talking about it with an expert can help. We offer the following services for adults: Individual therapy Medication evaluation and management Group therapy Marital/relationship therapy Psychological assessments for adults Neuropsychological assessment for adults

Midlife

Adults settle into fixed family structures and lifestyles. We become very busy wage earners, homemakers, parents, marriage partners, and pursuers of careers. Stress abounds as these jobs grow bigger and the time to do them seems to shrink.

Often, we are over committed and have broken promises falling off our plates. Bosses, kids, spouses, and friends demand we do more. Others often misunderstand our way of doing things and fuss and fight with us. Our friends, family, and partners are often too busy themselves to be of much help. Our efforts to deal with conflicts and dissatisfactions with the folks around us often make it worse. Many choose to be quiet and bear it. Family, friends, or co-workers who have special needs can make life extra exhausting. Betrayals, abandonments, chronic illnesses, deaths, and disasters can sink our already leaky boats.

Unrelenting stress makes us mad (from grouchiness to domestic violence), fleeing (TV, pills/booze, e-games, affairs), scared (panic attacks, excessive worry, sleeplessness), weary (loss of energy, interest, and desire), wrong (down on oneself, defensive, wanting to fight back), and desperate (trapped, burned out, and frantic). We adults are burdened with important and weighty responsibilities and often feel unskilled, overwhelmed, and alone with our struggles. However, we do not need to face these grown-up struggles alone. The professional therapists at 3-C are keenly aware of the pitfalls and challenges of adulthood and are trained and ready to help. Common reasons for seeking treatment: Adjustment problems Relationships problems Career difficulties Family problems Parenting issues Divorce or separation Grief from a loss Depression Anxiety Substance abuse Sleep problems Inability to handle stress Anger issues

Treatment can help you learn more about the problems and help find ways to cope and work through the issue to increase success. 3-C is a safe place where a professional will listen nonjudgmentally and help guide you to better insight and confidence. We have a broad range of specialists who can help, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and licensed therapists. There are no set criteria for seeking help. No problem is too big or too small. If there is something bothering you, talking about it with an expert can help. We offer the following services for adults: Individual therapy Medication evaluation and management Group therapy Marital/relationship therapy Psychological assessments for adults Neuropsychological assessment for adults

Aging

In 1900, the average life expectancy was 49 years—the parents soon died once the children grew up. Today’s life expectancy is 80+ years. What about those extra 30 years?

These can be vibrant years of rediscovering one’s spouse and early hobbies. They can be filled with a sense of accomplishment and a desire to share with others the wisdom we have accrued in the first half of our lives. These years can even be an opportunity to reinvent your life to begin to meet some of the needs that have not been fulfilled so far. No matter what, though, these are years of transition. As we approach 50, our parents may be reaching 80 and the end of their lives. Our children may be in college or their first career. We are often looking across the breakfast table at our spouse wondering, “Who are you? And for that matter, who am I?” These are expected transitions. We will all navigate them in one way or another.

As we now pass 50, some of us may realize we have lost ourselves. We have put ourselves on the back burner in order to be financially successful and to raise and launch our children. At home, we may face the empty nest in which we no longer know ourselves or each other. Couples often realize their closeness has died and must decide to renew their intimacy or separate their lives. Times are changing at work, too. Younger employees are promoted while old hands are passed over or phased out. Unemployment, inadequate income, and mountains of debt can make the prospect of retiring someday frighteningly unlikely. Further, our bodies are not as automatic. We now have to work at keeping our health, vigor, and mobility. Menopause symptoms and the lessening of sexual desire and/or capability bring unexpected frustrations and self-doubt. Many of us face the demands and sorrow of caring for sick and dying parents and some of us face profound loneliness after a divorce or the loss of a spouse. We begin our bucket list of what we want to do while we can, and often doubt that most will ever happen. Moods of sadness, anger, and worry may be harder and harder to overcome and our futures may seem very uncertain and unpromising. Many folks in the pre-retirement age feel they must do it themselves and have trouble asking for support and help. At 3-C, asking for help is easy and natural. 3-C therapists are ready to help you with planning, reorganizing, revitalizing, and restoring your life and future. Common reasons for seeking treatment: Adjustment problems Relationship problems Reaction to physical health issues Career difficulties Family problems Parenting issues Divorce or separation Depression Anxiety Substance abuse Sleep problems Inability to handle stress Anger issues

Treatment can help you learn more about the problems and help find ways to cope and work through the issue to increase success. 3-C is a safe place where a professional will listen nonjudgmentally and help guide you to better insight and confidence. We have a broad range of specialists who can help, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and licensed therapists. There are no set criteria for seeking help. No problem is too big or too small. If there is something bothering you, talking about it with an expert can help. We offer the following services for adults: Individual therapy Medication evaluation and management Group therapy Marital/relationship therapy Psychological assessments for adults Neuropsychological assessment for adults Divorce consulting and collaborative divorce facilitation

Relationships

Our society pays a lot of attention to relationships when they start (first dates, engagements, weddings) and when they end (break up, divorce or death). Little attention is paid to all the parts in the middle. There are many stages to the natural progression of any relationship. The more committed it is, the more intense the experience of each stage can be.

Early Stage

Early stage relationships are often filled with hope and illusion. Partners tend to see the things they want to see in their beloved other and ignore the rough or unseemly bits. Each of us imagines the wonders of the individual to which we commit and then go about validating our belief through selecting the behaviors most closely aligned with our wish. Sometimes there is a wonderful 1:1 match. Sometimes it is 10 degrees off. Sometimes it is an illusion. This leads to the second stage.

Middle Stage

People begin to realize that the day-to-day maintenance of a committed relationship requires far more work than they think it should. The wonderful partner also tends to leave their shoes in the middle of the floor or doesn’t clean the kitchen just the way your mom did. It really doesn’t matter how large or small the flaw is, it is not what you expected and the mirage begins to fade, leaving what you thought was an oasis looking like a muddy watering hole. This influx of new information is also not the truth of the relationship. It is the backlash of the original illusion. The degree to which the illusion was grand will match the degree to which things now look dismal. This leads to stage three.

Stage Three

In stage three, people often experience confusion. They will vacillate between wanting to fix the relationship so that it matches their dream, to trashing the relationship as a disappointment, to just treading water thinking this is all there is. Fixing the relationship often comes in the guise of therapy to fix your partner. The belief is “I’m fine. They are messed up!” This approach rarely works, since the issue is between the two of you with each of you holding responsibility for its existence. Trashing the relationship often comes with loud, damaging arguments or cold, cutting remarks. The threat of break up or divorce may be sprinkled into arguments like a spice neither of you can tolerate, leaving the relationship with a terrible case of indigestion. Treading water may be the hardest of all. Here people live in desperate silence wanting things to get better, but not willing to voice what they need or want in the relationship. Days turn into months and then into years of quiet, despairing loneliness instead of the bright, warm love and companionship hoped for at the beginning of the relationship. No matter which path it takes, eventually the relationship reaches the fourth stage.

Resolution

At some point, a decision must be made about how to move forward. This is where therapy and skills training can make a huge difference. Learning how to talk about the problems that exist so that both of you understand it from one another’s point of view is a critical skill in creating success in a relationship. Developing a method for solving problems in general and using it to solve the specific ills in your relationship creates a sense of hope and purpose. Finally, understanding that both members of the relationship are human and therefore fallible allows for mistakes while maintaining the commitment.

Anyone can learn the skills to turn trouble into greater intimacy.

We offer the following services for relationships:

Marital/relationship therapy
Family therapy
Divorce consulting and collaborative divorce facilitation

LIFE STAGES

Early Adulthood

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

College Years

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

Midlife

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

Aging

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

Relationships

Early Stage

Middle Stage

Stage Three

Resolution

We can help.
Let's Talk

QUICK LINKS

LIFE STAGES

Early Adulthood

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

College Years

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

Midlife

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

Aging

GROWTH

CONCERNS

SERVICES

Relationships

Early Stage

Middle Stage

Stage Three

Resolution

We can help. Let's Talk

QUICK LINKS

We can help.
Let's Talk